Interests:Imam Ghazali's Ihya Ulumuddin, Sufism, photography, travel, running, boxing, classical music, sports, cooking, eating, life Expertise:Never become so much of an expert that you stop gaining expertise
Qur'an : Work not corruption in the earth after it has been set in order, and call on Him in fear and hope. Surely, the mercy of Allah is near to those who act with excellence. (7:56)
Rumi : Whether you are fast or slow, eventually you will find what you are seeking.Always devote yourself whole heartedly to your search.Even though you may limp or be bent double, do not abandon your search,but drag yourself towards it.
Somebody said: “Leave the Church of your mind to enter the tavern of love”.
The mind judges, fears, envies, thinks itself superior to others and wants to be recognized as superior, loves to live in a “high/elite” culture apart from the rest of the world. While the heart loves; it loves simplicity, wants to help others (is always in search for common ground), enjoys company, recognizes misery, and appreciates effort.
The heart I feel was made to guide the mind and therefore point it to the knowledge it needs.
If we were to ask the question: How should my relationship with person X be? The answer given from within the Church of the mind will be different from that given from within the tavern of love. This could very well be the case for all relationships.
This is also true for many other questions; a few are given below: 1. What should my partner be like? (marriage) 2. What should my role on this planet be? 3. Is learning a complex-abstract-horrifying process or a simplifying-concrete-enabling process? 4. Is it cool to be an elite, outlier in a group or a popular member who can “relate” to other members and is therefore respected by them. 5. Is my life miserable or a challenge, something I suffer or something that grooms me? 6. Is God bad for creating Satan and permitting sin or good for enabling them to drive us out of our cocoons of foolishness? 7. If I view my past should I worry about the mistakes I made or visit such moments (in memory) as assets – as building blocks of experience.
Life is a journey from birth to death and there are many angles from which to look at this journey. One such angle is “maturity”.
At birth one is here to “get”. When a baby dirties his/her diaper they cry; the baby continues to cry till the diaper is changed or the baby goes blue in the face. The baby does this to “get” their diaper changed.
At death one leaves this world and whatever he has with him. Everything he had, if only a torn piece of cloth is left behind. He “gives” to anybody who is there to take it.
This is a journey from “get” to “give” and the journey in between is what I describe below.
The journey viewed in this way has three stations. The first station belongs to the baby and to the child who eventually grows into a demanding teen. When his demands cannot be met his parents “resist” and so the teen has to develop a new tactic. He has to “give to get” and this then brings him to the second station [He has progressed from “get” to “give to get”].
Many of us are now in the second station. Social exchange theory talks about an “economic transactional view of a relationship”. Since such a view is true of our closest relations it is also true of our interactions with others such as employees at the “work place”.
The reason most of us are compelled “by a force of nature” to move to the third station [in which we “give” without wanting to “get”] is the dissonance we feel in the second station. This is because as long as we expect to “get” we hand over some power to the "other" and this leaves us somewhat vulnerable.
Note if you want to “get” from somebody else, something tangible like “money” or intangible like “significance” the other will always have some power over you.
And this is why the “second station” may even be accompanied by a lack of “sincerity”. This is because the motive behind “giving” is not “for the sake of giving or helping the other” but for some “return”.
It is only in the third and final station that the person feels “complete tranquility”. Here the individual “gives” without expecting to “get”. The reason complete tranquility is only possible in this station is because when you stop expecting to “get” you close the doors to [internal] conflict.
